This website would not have been possible (nor necessary) without the years of dedicated gaslighting, arrogance, racism, sexism and cacomorphobism provided by doctors across Canada to members of the Canadian Forces and their veterans in various medical settings (both in the forces and public sector).
To the Bad Doctors..
To Dr. D, Dr. R, Dr. C (all of North Bay) and the 20-some other doctors I encountered while at Basic Training at St. Jean-sur-Richelieu;
Unfortunately, I was gifted with a damn-fine memory that seldom lets me forget. I was injured during training and while performing first-aid on a fellow recruit (who happened to be a whistleblower and later found dead).
My ‘thank you’ was a quick-release from the forces which led to several diagnosis being missed altogether. Post-release, I stayed with the same physicians at a clinic run for military family members and veterans. I can come up with no word other than ‘torturous’ to describe the horror I experienced through Medical Mismanagement. You were all involved in that. I will be sharing all of the details here except for your names. You know who you are.
You are responsible for my early death therefore, will also be invited to attend my death to witness the effects of your actions/inactions.
By the way? That stomach pain you failed to diagnose that first presented itself in October 2010? It was a 1-inch gallstone that was embedded in my bile duct. I was literally rotting from the inside by the time they could operate. No one should suffer this for 10 years.
When you laughed at me? When you mocked me? When I am sure you kept thinking I was wasting your time? I was suffering with this… now imagine, TEN YEARS with this in your stomach?
No wonder I was passing out. No wonder I felt like I was dying… because I literally was!
I deserve a face-to-face apology for what you did to me.
When the surgeon in Guadalajara, Mexico heard that 23 of Canada’s finest military medical specialists missed this over a 10 year period? He couldn’t fathom this and said, “No way can you miss this… they never even looked.” And this can be verified by the 200 medical appointments where my stomach complaints were brought up nearly every single time, on top of my military injuries. How many tests did you perform on me for this? Where are my ultrasounds? MRI? How dare you do this to another human being… and to get away with it? No way….
I have ensured through various legal avenues, that this site will remain here, untouched, for a minimum period of 20 years. I did this to ensure my final wishes – my story on how I was gaslit by physicians and forced into an early death – remains online as a warning to other recruits/soldiers/patients, that doctors like you exist in the forces.
As the ex-partner of a medical technician with 30 years experience, the stories I could tell of what he witnessed on a daily basis and shared with me! But I won’t. Those aren’t my stories to tell.
But these ones are! I did bear witness to many atrocities (including a death of a recruit whose family was never compensated a single dollar for the loss of his life that he sacrificed for Canada) relating to the health care provided to recruits at St. Jean as well as my own which carried through during my time at CFB North Bay.
I am no longer hiding my details. They are the truth. They happened. And I will report them as they happened to me. I did my best to approach the doctors to notify them of their huge, 10 year gaffe which nearly cost me my life.
They declined.
And so has my health.
But before I go, I will be ensuring their mistakes are available for others to see — to warn those who wish to join the forces! This could be your reality…
To the other victims of medical gaslighting…
I understand you. I get you. I believe you. I have lived your experience. I know there are dozens of you out there in the military… and many, many more out in the “civilian world”. I too, had ignored symptoms. I too, was made fun of by my doctors. I too, was gaslit. I too, nearly died. And I’m beyond traumatized because of it.
“Sooooooooooo Czapiewska! What are you here for today? Is it your hip? Your shoulders? Your hips AND your shoulders? Or is it something completely new and different?!” That was my medical support in the Canadian Forces by the Base Surgeon as a 32-year old woman in 2011 when I approached him after the first time I passed out, after already suffering 8 months of pain at that point.
Nine years later – still suffering the exact same stomach pain that literally I would pass out from. I nearly died while stranded in Mexico during COVID, that was rotting inside my bile-duct. A minimum of twenty-three medical doctors provided to me by the Canadian Forces (two of those continued to be my doctor after I retired and until I was stranded in Mexico) ‘missed’ this one inch gallstone.
I mean, it’s pretty easy to miss something you never, ever looked for. I endured over 200 medical appointments where I complained over and over and over the same TEXTBOOK symptoms.
While I cannot provide a lot of hope to you at this point, I do want to share with you the day I found out I wasn’t ‘crazy’ in the head, that my stomach pain was absolute 100% legit. I lucked out in finding a doctor who cared and who listened. They DO exist…
Stranded in Mexico, I went to one doctor named Dr. Jessica. I told her my symptoms and within 30 seconds, she said “I bet it’s your gallbladder.” Within one hour, I had an ultrasound. Within 1.5 hours, I saw a gastroenterologist who confirmed a one-inch gallstone was firmly embedded in my bileduct. Total cost? $75 Canadian. Cost of the surgery? $10 000 plus whatever I had to pay on my credit card for another three years in interest, thankyouverymuch.
This is something that should have been caught in October 2010 when I first complained. It most certainly should have been caught in one of the other 200 medical appointments afterwards. I have drowned in debt since, struggling to pay off something that should have been caught a decade before!!
I have suffered medical malpractice. I have suffered medical mismanagement. I have absolutely suffered Torturous levels of pain where I literally would smash my head against concrete to deflect pain. There is no other name for something that was so blatantly ignored.
I have a cousin in the Canadian Forces. She is definitely a she and she too, has experienced very similar medical treatment as I have. She has been ill for five years and only because of me and my story, did she finally push to have herself heard. She had her gallbladder looked at and she too, was full of gallstones.
Is this systemic in the Canadian Forces? Women being disregarded? I have so many stories to share and while I may not officially have an eidetic memory? I do have a pretty damn good one. And for as long as I have energy to type, I will share every single memory I have of being mistreated in the Canadian Forces medical system and the clinics put in place for military soldiers and their families as well as veterans.
I’m in bed almost 24 hours a day now. I only get up to go to the washroom. I shower every two weeks now if I am lucky. Admittedly, it has been longer at time. I’m fearful of the first day I will piss/shit myself in bed and I fear it is coming soon. I cannot even handle a pap-test anymore, without shaking like a leaf. I cannot let any one touch me anymore so there is no point in trying to determine what is still wrong in my stomach. I’ve given up, no more.
But this is why I’m trying to do the route of death with dignity.
However, it turns out, you need a doctor to sign off on that. Oh the irony. I got ‘fired’ from my doctor who nearly killed me (no problem, I don’t want them anyways, I’d die from a panic attack before I could ever set foot near them again)… and I am years away from every having a family doctor. And the North Bay and District hospital treated me so abysmally, I have told family to NOT call under any circumstances, an ambulance. I’d rather die than go there.
I placed the call on Friday, December 27 to the MAiD office and have begun the application process and this is my first stumbling block. Proving I have a permanent illness (I do, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, more painful than childbirth and cancer, go check it out) and needing a doctor to do so.
Um – if I actually had a competent doctor? Maybe I wouldn’t have to go this route… and so uh, that’s the whole reason I need the MAiD. No doctoring? No pain relief? No way, no more. I’ve done my time of fourteen years of suffering needlessly. All I wanted was a little dignity in life. And now it is likely I am going to be turned down for medical assistance in dying… so it ooks like I’ll likely have none in death either.
I had really wanted to have a better ending for this site — I had visions where I could help the other people who have been dismissed by their doctors, to have hope there is something better. And while I did find an excellent therapist and two compassionate doctors this past year for the first time (and it’s because of them, that I am still here), they are however, not able to assist in the ways I need long-term. I do want you to know that I do believe every single ache and pain you have endured… because you see that gallstone photo up there? The doctors made it seem like it was in my head and that I was crazy…. Those “doctors” never even looked into it… they poked and prodded and even once I said to Dr. R, “Are you SURE it isn’t my gallbladder?” through my tear-filled eyes?
Their response as they poked the area where I now sport a seven-inch long scar from where they opened me up to save my life?
“No, I don’t think so.”
I was right. They were wrong. I deserve a bloody award for surviving such high levels of pain for an entire decade!!!!!!
And I believe in YOU. Be like my cousin. She fought five years and she pushed and got her answer… I’m too tired though. I’ve fought 14. I can’t fight anymore
But I do hope that you are never Made/MAid to die like I am being made to….